Teaching to the choir

Ed's knee-deep in teachers, tutus, and thoroughbred TV stars

By Ed Spitzberg

Every Friday afternoon, I leave my "day" job at Arena Stage and go teach singing to two-dozen little ballerinas. Not only am I the first vocal teacher at this local ballet school, but I am also their first-ever male employee. I'm breaking the glass ceiling for men everywhere. Before my first class, we had a training session for all of the teachers. We all sat down on the studio floor around quilted tea-party blankets. The education director started

I was excited for my first class, although something dawned on me. The girls referred to all of the other teachers as "Miss Jennifer" and "Miss Amy." It didn't take me long to figure out what they would be calling me…

Luckily, no one under age 10 has heard of a certain talking horse, so every week, I walk into class to a chorus of little girls shouting, "Mr. Ed! Mr. Ed!"

Of course, I was hoping that one of the perks of being the only guy at a dance studio would be my fellow teachers. Since I'm only there one day a week and am in my studio the whole time, there's not a lot of opportunity to take advantage of that particular perk. When I heard there was an employee holiday party, however, I got kind of excited. I mean, gorgeous 20-something dancers, alcohol, and I'm the only guy. That's enough right there.

Then I found out it was hot tub party. Really. A hot tub party. So, for those with addition problems, let me complete that earlier sentence: Gorgeous 20-something dancers in bikinis, alcohol, a hot tub, and I'm the only guy.

Alas, my luck isn't nearly that good. (I didn't win Powerball, either.) The problem with working two jobs is that you usually have to work through each job's parties, and that was the case here: The school's office party was the same night as opening night of South Pacific at Arena, and I needed to greet donors.

Let me tell you, I came very close to quitting my Arena job that night. But I need money to court 20 bikini-clad dance teachers, so I kept both jobs… which is good, because I'm really enjoying teaching the tutu-wearing tots. While I certainly love the traditional teacher things—the reward of seeing them learn, the kids' smiles every week, the parents' appreciation for teaching them—what I really look forward to are the non sequiturs. A typical exchange:

So it's going well. Now I just have to talk the other teachers into having a President's Day office party